


Just Another Ordinary Week

by Irhaboggles



Category: Danger Mouse (Cartoon 1981), Danger Mouse (Cartoon 2015)
Genre: F/M, Humor, Parody, Satire, cartoon, dm - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-20 17:29:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21285458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irhaboggles/pseuds/Irhaboggles
Summary: Chaos! Battles! Action! Thrills! Danger Mouse is at it again with his crazy adventures, causing mayhem wherever he goes, but to two citizens in particular, these antics are hardly rare. Instead, watching DM nearly destroy their city on his quest for heroism is nothing more than just another ordinary week.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Male Character
Kudos: 3





	Just Another Ordinary Week

"Look out!" Delilah quickly tackled her boyfriend to the ground. They hit the pavement hard but, despite the pain, that was better than what had nearly happened. If Delilah had been a second slower, they might've both been flattened by Danger Mouse's flying Danger Car.

"Good Heavens! Has the chap lost his mind?!" Delilah's boyfriend, Reginald, demanded. Although neither the manatee nor the platypus were part of the Danger Agency, they knew about Danger Mouse and his antics all too well. It was kind of hard not to know him, though, because he was so very dramatic and public. His heroic escapades were legend across London, even if some of the were a little… stretched in order to sound cooler. So nearly being run over by the Danger Car was just another ordinary week for Delilah and Reginald.

"I think he has!" Delilah shrieked, pointing her flipper back to the sky. Ah. The Danger Car was swooping back in. But before Delilah could tackle him again, Reginald simply stepped out of the way.

"Watch where you're flying!" he shouted, waving his own flipper as Danger Mouse sped on by.

"And a jolly good day to you, Mr. Platypus!" the mouse saluted from his vehicle. Sitting beside him was a terrified-looking hamster who gave him a sheepish, apologetic look before the car sped off once again through the London skies.

Reginald sputtered in disgust, both from Danger Mouse's careless and unapologetic behavior, and from the exhaust that had hit him square in the face when Danger Mouse flew off again. Honestly! The nerve of him! Did all secret agents had such a lack of regard for the citizens of London?

"Never mind that, Reginald," Delilah tried to mask a laugh at her boyfriend's face. He looked so cute when he got angry, especially because his comically large beak always produced the most comical and large expressions. "Let us just try to carry on as best we can. You know his escapades are all part of just another ordinary week," she took his flipper into hers and they continued to walk down the streets.

"We can try," Reginald said cynically. "But Heaven knows if that bloody mouse will let us succeed!"

And unfortunately, Reginald turned out to be correct. Whatever crazy mission Danger Mouse was on that day, it clearly was quite the long endeavor because, for nearly the entire day, he kept interrupting Reginald and Delilah's schedule. After nearly running them over in the morning, Danger Mouse had crashed right into their table at one of the local café's when he and his enemy started fighting just too close to civilian lines.

"My scones!" Reginald cried in despair as Danger Mouse flatted the table… and everything on it.

"Ooh! Is that raspberry jam?" the mouse's hamster friend asked, noticing one single scone that had somehow remained unsquished. Without further ado, he picked up the pastry and bit into it with a big smile.

"Never mind that, you guys! Look out!" Delilah pointed back to the sky. There, flying overhead on a jetpack, was a small money in a tall top hat.

After a bit of cheap, witty banter that sounded highly scripted, Danger Mouse and his sidekick had vanished back into the fray with the crazy little flying monkey, leaving Delilah and Reginald to clean up the mess.

"That blasted secret agent! He isn't very good at his job, is he?" Reginald wiped the crumbs off his overcoat. Delilah only gave a shrug before helping her boyfriend to his webbed feet. Danger Mouse's antics weren't exactly new to anyone who had lived in London for longer than a week. Literally. These crazy escapades happened almost every week. And almost at the exact same time too! Like it was all scheduled.

"Oh well," the manatee sighed. "Let's just keep on," then she and her boyfriend, after cleaning up as best they could, took leave of the little café.

But the day really came to a climax in the evening. The crazy little monkey had apparently broken into and stolen some dangerous tech from the Danger Agency lab. He had used it to clone himself 100 times over. Now the sky was thick with flying monkeys.

"Fly, my pretties! Fly! FLY!" their leader and creator gave a chattering crackle as his many, many clones began their conquest of London.

"Not if _we _have anything to say about it, Brunel!" aaaaand… Danger Mouse was back. His car floated 100 feet up. A large white hand extended from the trunk. It was carrying a massive bunch of bananas.

"Ha! And you think that will work against my army?" Brunel scoffed. "That's just a stereotype!"

"Be that as it may, no matter what your species is, you're bound to get hungry eventually…" and with that cryptic remark, Danger Mouse returned all the bananas to the trunk of his car before launching the vehicle straight for Brunel.

What ensued was a chaotic battle of epic proportions as 101 monkeys fought against Danger Mouse and all of his associates.

"I told you we should've moved to Manchester," Reginald growled as he and his girlfriend took shelter from the monkey storm in a nearby mall.

"Well London is just so… scenic!" Delilah defended herself with a pout. She and Reginald continued to bicker they noticed that the swarm of monkeys was finally flying away. They had, at first, been destroying London's public property left and right, breaking anything they could get their greedy little fingers into, but now they were all… flying towards Big Ben?

"Let's take a look!" Delilah shuffled out from underneath the table she was hiding under. Reginald gave her a despairing look, but he followed after her anyway, secretly just as curious as she was to see what had stopped the monkey scourge. It was the bananas.

Like Danger Mouse had cryptically alluded to earlier, all the smashing and breaking was bound to leave Brunel's monkey-clone army tired… and hungry. And now that hunger was finally setting in. But it wasn't even just the bananas that were tempting the flying horde. It was what Danger Mouse's hamster sidekick was doing with them. He was cooking them. And in any way you could think of!

"Banana bread, banana pudding, banana pancakes, banana-cream pie, banana yougurt, banana smoothies and shakes, banana-nut muffins, banana cake! And my personal favorite… banana jam!" Penfold declared. Somehow, he and Danger Mouse had managed to get an entire kitchen set up on top of Big Ben and Danger Mouse was using the large white hand from the back of his car not only to supply the hamster with bananas, but also to waft the smell all over London. Like moths to a flame, the monkeys flew straight for Big Ben, and all the delicious banana smells wafting off of it.

"No!" Brunel cried, but it was too late. All 100 of his hungry, tired clones had abandoned him in favor of the hamster's delectable dishes.

"Hmmm. Wow. Never thought I'd live to see the day," Reginald shielded his eyes as he and his girlfriend looked up at the hamster balanced precariously atop Big Ben, a large yellow car hovering behind him and handing him bananas to cook with.

"Danger Mouse does it again!" Delilah agreed with an amused, proud smile. She shook her head. The White Wonder certainly lived up to his title.

"He's absolutely mad!" Reginald replied, still staring up at the flying monkeys as they swarmed around the hamster to get their banana-based meal. All of the rest of London was in shambles, but at least the onslaught was over. With the flying monkeys now firmly on Danger Mouse's side, Brunel found himself badly outnumbered and was quick to try and flee. He didn't make it very far, though, because Reginald stopped him.

"Where does that moron think he's off to?" the platypus picked up a nearby piece of debris and, with an expert toss, slung it at Brunel's jetpack. One of the tanks gained a hole so big that fuel began leaking out and, in order to prevent himself from going careening, Brunel was forced to land. Delilah looked at her boyfriend admiringly.

"Not bad, Reginald! You might have the makings of a great secret agent in you!" she patted his back proudly.

"Don't even think about it!" Reginald growled at her, but even under his dark brown fur, she could see him blushing. "I would rather jump off Big Ben than work with that crazy mouse!"

"Well, I suppose I cannot fault you for that," Delilah continued to tease her boyfriend. "Besides, if you worked for the Agency, you would have to leave me, and I don't think I want you to go…" she kissed his cheek, her large lips taking up nearly half his face.

"Good," he grumbled back at her, but the blush had just gotten even redder. "I don't think I want to leave…" and then he kissed her right back. As weird, messy and crazy as it was to live in London, especially with a crazy daredevil rodent and his five-star chef sidekick, life could've been worse for the manatee and platypus and they both decided that, so long as they had each other, everything else would be manageable. Besides, they'd lived in this London for years. These types of shenanigans were not new. Instead, for them, it was just another ordinary week.

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Calvin, here's your "outside spectators watch DM work". I have to say, this was quite fun to write. Hope you like it!


End file.
